You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
