out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize