She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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