spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
