is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
