I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't want my vagina anymore.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
