Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
