my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
