I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize