I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
