I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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