the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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