I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
