she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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