physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
