he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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