I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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