Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
