im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
