She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
