Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize