Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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