Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
