We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize