ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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