You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
