i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
