You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
