I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
