hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
