i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My feet surprised me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
