The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
where does the pee come out of this thing
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
