And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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