So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Randomize
