people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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