So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
