I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
