and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
