Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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