we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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