And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
