And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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