sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I forget how to act sober
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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