so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i out mim tonsoeep
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