this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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