:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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