I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
