No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Someone shit on the floor
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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