Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
