Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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