guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
