I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
