Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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