uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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