Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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