just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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