no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I cut my penus on the lid.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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