Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
