She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
