yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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