She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
