real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
