I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
