You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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