My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
