You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize