Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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