Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
