I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
