grandma shit on top of the toilet
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
