you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
